In high school, I remember always being embarrassed that I didn’t have money. At 14, the most important thing to me was making people believe that I wasn’t, well, poor. What I didn’t know, is that it wasn’t that uncommon for my family to be struggling. According to CNN Money, in 2013, 76 percent of Americans lived the paycheck-to-paycheck. But, where I went to school, most of the students were far from where my family was financially. And so, my journey to work towards (what I thought were) the important things in life began.
As a young, naive teenager, I wanted to make it seem like I had a luxurious lifestyle like the majority of students at my public school in Texas had. I made a promise to my young self: If I wanted to feel like the other students in my high school, I had to fight to be able to emulate their lifestyles. Little did they know, I was in the process of moving into my fifth apartment because my father was evicted, again.
I took my first job at American Apparel at 15, joining the quarter of the high school population that both work and attend classes, according to the United States census. It wasn’t even that odd in my group of friends- many had jobs, but the difference was that they spent their earned money on their $11.95 movie ticket that weekend or to buy some cheap wine coolers.
But, my job wasn’t just because I got to spend at least $20 a weekend at the mall with my friends (who were spending at least $500), or get Chipotle with my high school boyfriend. The majority of that $350 bi-weekly paycheck went to helping my dad keep the lights on or to make sure our landlord stayed off our backs until the next month.
I know that it may sound bizarre to think that a young teenager would be helping out their parents, but according to a 2015 Ameritrade study, one out of five millennials support their parents financially.
A politics major at Eugene Lang, Andreah Santos, described a similar upbringing. She gave her parents money to help out with groceries, bills or her entertainment money because she didn’t want to see her mom struggle to take care of her and her brother. “It was out of respect,” Santos said. “When my dad left us, I felt like I had to step up. Since I was of age to get a job and work, I could at least help out financially.”
At 17, my dad and his boyfriend decided to move to Denver for a job. I decided to stay at my local high school in Texas. My parents move did lift some of my financial weight off my shoulders. I moved in with my high school best friend in her parents’ home. At the time, I was making (almost) bank. I had an over-the-computer job with the shoe company, Jeffrey Campbell, in their buyers housing department- which rocked in comparison to standing on your feet for eight hours in retail. I graduated high school by the skin of my teeth. Grades were not first on my priority list. Somehow, someway, I managed to get into The New School to study literature and music.
I’ve been in New York City for almost three years now. Freshman year, I thought about dropping out every day. I didn’t have friends and my grades were awful. I worked two jobs- a buyer’s intern at Patricia Field and as a teacher for an afterschool program that taught young girls how to sew. Having a social life and thriving academically weren’t possible.
And I wasn’t alone, Andreah Santos, admits she was where I was just a year before. “I worked as much as my work study would allow and budgeted my money carefully so I had enough for the necessities,” she said. “I also basically lived in the financial aid office to get every scholarship and loan that was available to me to pay my tuition.”
The summer going into my sophomore year, I told myself that I needed school. I realized the jobs I kept getting myself into weren’t ones that I loved to get up for in the morning-they were just to pay the bills. If I didn’t want to keep working jobs I dreaded being at I needed to make it through school and get a degree.
Sophomore year, I got a job through an old friend. I was working for her music management company and in return I got to live in the office space. No pay, but my grades were better, government-provided food stamps helped with groceries, ObamaCare rocked when I got a stuffy nose or a cough, and I was better with time management. Everything was going great until I learned that even though I was given a stable living situation, it wasn’t worth dealing with the ‘cut throat’ music industry.
I decided to quit.
After that, I was living out of a U-Haul for about a week with some cash stashed away. (P.S. if you ever need quick money: go to Craiglist! I worked a study that paid $100 to try out a company’s new flavor of chips)- and was rushing to find a place to move into. That’s when Santos and I finally crossed paths through the New School’s Off Campus Housing group on Facebook. I was wary about moving in with someone I didn’t know, but I was desperate for a home (and after getting to know Santos, she was too).
It was the best decision I ever made. Santos and I moved to Bushwick into an apartment we’ve come to love. It may have been furnished from things we’ve taken from the trash, but it’s ours. Santos became my best friend. We connected from having a similar background- she taught me I shouldn’t be embarrassed of it. She was the first student I met at The New School who also supported herself and made me feel less alone.
Now as a junior, I couldn’t be happier with my current job. I work at an amazing gym as a group fitness instructor where I’ve become part of a great community of people who’ve made me feel like home is also at my work. It took me a lot of failed attempts to find a home I connect with, but it was an interesting experience I won’t forget. Even though I don’t have a big house to go back to, or supportive parents who can’t wait to hear about my semester during Christmas break, I don’t let my background take such a toll on how I think others view me.
As I am nearing the end of my career as a student, I am proud to say that no matter where I live, as long as me, myself, and I are able to fight through any challenge, I’ll always have a home.