Dating is difficult in the best of times, but New Schoolers say meeting your potential new soulmate in the middle of a pandemic comes with a whole new set of challenges.
New York City was once bustling with singles freely forming new romantic connections. Now, more than one year into the COVID-19 pandemic, with everyone confined to their homes and social distancing orders still in place, students at The New School are getting creative when it comes to finding love, whether it be by using dating apps, Zoom or Facetime.
The Dating App Users
Nick Hongxi Yuan, a product design major in his fourth-year at Parsons, met his girlfriend, Marlyn, a sophomore at Queens College in June during the heat of the pandemic. While quarantining at a friend’s house in Pennsylvania, Yuan decided to download the dating app, Bumble, with low expectations.
“It was summer and quarantine and everyone was super bored. I feel like everyone was trying to talk to someone to form some kind of human connection. It just so happened that I clicked with her. She was super funny and cool,” said Yuan.
To get to know each other, the pair spent hours chatting over Zoom and Facetime, having virtual video nights through the app Kosmi, sharing silly Youtube videos and even playing games through shared screens.
Yuan and Marlyn spent two months getting to know each other over the phone before they met in person. “Everything clicked super quickly when we first met up in person,” said Yuan, “I feel like normally it’s half physical connection and half personality at the beginning, but this time I just got to know her personality first. We created such a deep bond from the start”.
Since the couple had been talking for so long over the phone, Yuan already knew the connection was there, but the last box to check was physical chemistry. “I could see what she looked like over Zoom but I didn’t know how tall she was or anything like that,” said Yue. After three in person dates, Yuan decided to ask Marlyn to become official.
Now that both Marlyn and Yuan live in New York City, their dates consist of cooking for each other at home, watching movies and walking the parks. They even spent Christmas and New Years together.
“In retrospect, I think being able to get to know her on such a deep level before meeting her makes this relationship pretty special, I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us,” Yuan said.
Gabrielle Tiongco decided to download Bumble with zero expectations in February 2020. A month later, still in her second year at Parsons pursuing fine arts, Tiongco matched with Andrew, who was in his final year at Hunter College at the time.
Tiongco and Andrew went on dates twice a week for about a month, going to restaurants and concerts until everything ground to a halt when the pandemic reached New York City.
Even when news broke that classes were going to be held online for the rest of the spring semester and that the New School dorms would no longer welcome guests into the buildings, both Andrew and Tiongco remained in the city. For the first two weeks of lockdown, Tiongco stayed in her dorm at Kerrey Hall while Andrew lived in his own apartment in the Bronx.
“Kerrey started to get really lonely,” Tiongco said. “We were not allowed to see anyone and I was talking to Andrew 24/7. We started to really click and like each other a lot. We finally decided to quarantine together.”
Quarantining with Andrew was a wild experience, Tiongco said, adding: “I didn’t know this guy that well and we were spending all this time together. Then we instantly became best friends.” Since this was such an impulsive decision, Tiongco kept her dorm room lease for the first few weeks of living with Andrew. However, Kerrey Hall eventually closed its doors and students had to leave. With that, Tiongco officially moved in with Andrew full time.
For a lot of people, at the beginning of a relationship, it’s about making sure your hair is perfectly combed, your makeup is right and your breath smells fresh. But for Tiongco and Andrew, it looked a little different. “[In] the beginning stages of our relationship we essentially moved in together. We totally skipped the courting part of a typical romantic relationship. I never had to dress up to see him, [it was] casual from the start,” said Tiongco.
With the pandemic well underway and New York City is a red zone, the two could not engage in typical date activities. Instead, they took advantage of the green spaces the city and surrounding areas have to offer. “There’s a walkway right next to [Andrew’s] place to get to Randall’s Island, so we spent most of our time there biking and walking when the weather got warm,” said Tiongco.
On special occasions when the couple got tired of city life, they’d rent a car and venture to Upstate New York for a little getaway. “We went hiking about two weeks ago when it was snowing,” said Tiongco, “It’s come to the point where we don’t wanna do things with other people, just us.”
The Zoom Romance
Right at the start of the pandemic, Molly Alexander decided to end things with her boyfriend of four years. While Alexander, a fourth-year Strategic and Design Management student, said that the relationship was great, it was time for a change. “During that relationship, I discovered that I’m not attracted to guys,” said Alexander, “It was a risk to end a relationship at the beginning of a pandemic. But it was like this heavy weight and I was like: I need to spend the pandemic focusing on myself”.
After the breakup, Alexander returned home to live with her family, the one thing Alexander did not want to do after her breakup was download a dating app in her hometown in rural Connecticut. “I was left pretty limited with my options so I told myself I’d leave the dating until after the pandemic was over,” said Alexander.
However, much to Alexander’s surprise, during one of her Zoom classes during the fall semester, she connected with one of her classmates. “I had a group project and our teacher assigned us a random partner to work with,” said Alexander. “We somehow ended up opening up about our relationship experiences and realizing we’re both into women. We just really connected and talked for the entire day!”
“It’s very different navigating relationships online because it’s harder to sort of feel out the room,” said Alexander, “but our relationship mainly consists of Instagram and FaceTime. We’ll watch movies together, do drawing activities together, or even just eat meals together. Nothing too complicated, just a lot of conversations over the phone.”
Alexander and her partner have yet to meet up in person. Alexander is planning to move back to the city during the summer and is extremely eager to move their relationship offline.
From Hometown Love to Long Distance
It’s rare these days that people meet the “old-fashioned” way – without any technology – but first-year Journalism + Design student Caroline McKenzie did just that. McKenzie met her boyfriend Anthony her senior year of high school back home in Philadelphia while working at a local veterinary hospital.
“We started dating in December of 2019, two months before COVID took over,” said McKenzie. “It was super interesting because, at the beginning of our relationship, we had only gone on a few traditional dates. Once the pandemic hit, we had to adjust.”
Luckily, the couple were able to keep their jobs at the veterinary hospital through the pandemic. This not only allowed them to get out of their homes but to spend time together at work. “We got to see each other a lot during a time where everyone had to keep to themselves,” said McKenzie, “I would say we got a lot closer, which is a benefit. But we couldn’t do “real” couple things. So there were definitely pros and cons.”
While dates are different in quarantine than they would during “normal” times, McKenzie and Anthony still tried to make the best of what they had. “Our dates pretty much consisted of movies and food. We watched every Marvel movie and picked up food and ate it in the car. We live about 10 minutes away from each other, so it was super convenient when we wanted to hang out,” said McKenzie.
“Luckily, we live super close to the shore, right outside Philadelphia. The beaches weren’t super crowded so that was really nice once summer began,” said McKenzie.
Once summer ended, it was time for the couple to go their separate ways for college. While McKenzie attends school in New York City, Anthony goes to Notre Dame University in Indiana.
“With the pandemic, we can’t visit each other at school and we can’t just go home for the weekend,” said McKenzie, “so we don’t see each other for an entire semester. I probably won’t see him until May, which is super tough.”
While it may be a challenge for McKenzie and her boyfriend, the two are choosing to see their situation in a positive light. “The long-distance is hard, but with the right person you can make it work,” said McKenzie, “it’s what we signed up for, and thank God for FaceTime!”