RSS
Email
Twitter
Facebook
Tumblr I am almost always baffled when friends tell me about their siblings: “Well, I love my sister, but we’re just very different.” Or when they tell me that they don’t know their siblings very well — my grandfather and his brother were so estranged that I didn’t even know I had a Great Uncle until after he died. My story with siblings is different, very different.
I am a triplet. Yes, a triplet, one of three boys. Fortunately for the world, we are not identical — we’re enough trouble as it is. I can only imagine my poor mom with three baby triplets, crying out for her at the same time. She says that she had to give all of us equal amounts of attention or else the other two would start crying, and a triplet tantrum is not a pretty sight.
Growing up, we were hellions. It’s not that we fought among ourselves, it was that we acted as a unit, like a Navy SEAL Team, creating mayhem on the most unsuspecting targets. Causing mischief was a favorite pastime, and we gained fame as “The Brooks Brothers.” Our mother likes to say that we brought each other down to the lowest common denominator — we screamed on airplanes, caused scenes during class, and ran around the house giggling in circles before bedtime. Our mother would become so exhausted that she would just give up on trying to corral us into our beds, while our father silently snuck out of bedtime duty and retreated to his own quarters. Scolding us didn’t work, because while we were being scolded for, let’s say, pouring endless glasses of water down the stairs, we would just look at each other’s faces, trying desperately to contain our laughter, only to have it all burst out two seconds later. Life was the biggest and most adventurous game with them by my side.
It’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to have an older brother to look up to, or a younger brother to take care of. The age gap between most siblings is still hard for me to comprehend. I always had my brothers by my side, and every new experience we experienced together. Without an older sibling to give us advice, we had to figure out life’s questions for ourselves with trial and error — a lot of trial and error.
Because we didn’t have that older influence in our lives, we navigated the experimental teenage years blindly. As much as we loved each other, we had the ability to bring each other down. We always pushed our boundaries, from drug experimentations to sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. It was easy to justify such acts of mischief — if they were doing it, then it was OK for me to do it too. We pushed each other’s limits, teaching each other what we could and could not handle. We discovered who we were as individuals through those periods of trial and error.
But as we have the capability to bring each other down, we also have the enormous capability to bring each other up. They know me the best, and can speak to me on a level that reaches my core. We teach each other, not only through the various mistakes we make, but the individual accomplishments we achieve. I know that when I see my brothers do something positive and creative with their lives, it inspires me to do the same, and I know that they feel likewise.
We know each other so well that I can tell just by the look on their faces what they are feeling, and vice versa. But even more than that, I know how they would react in certain situations without them even being there. This is the greatest gift that we share: although we still create mischief wherever we go, we always look out for each other, and with the profoundest love, keep each other in line.
Dear Jack,
As the mother of 8 year old triplets, I laughed and cried, reading your essay. Thank you so much for writing it. As I try and handle The Crazy that is my daily life, I can only hope the kids grow up as close as you and your siblings are. It would be all worth it then. I really enjoyed this. You guys sound like a riot. Oh, wait, I KNOW that riot!
Michele
My triplet it’s will turn four next month and already use teamwork (their exact words) to create mayhem. Thank you for bringing it all into perspective for me. I thank God that he blessed me with them all so that they can have eternal friends to love and lean on. Thank you for sharing!
That was boys, not it’s. Auto correct, not Freudian slip, I swear….
Sniff, sniff. Love this, and love that my boys are growing up with this bond. They are so lucky! Kudos to your parents for raising you and your brothers so well.
I loved this story! I have girl/boy/girl 18 month old triplets. I hope they will be just as close as you and your brothers are
Thanks so much for this! I have two year old fraternal triplet boys. And although young, they are already causing me the same problems you all caused your mom. But they are amazing and worth it
I have 6 year old triplet boys and can only hope that as they work together to create mayham, that they are also strengthening their bond together.
Thank you so much for writing this! I have 5 year old triplet boys, and love to hear about older sets of triplets!
Awesome!
the author is my brother!
And my brother too!
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve got 3 year old identical boys (our only children) and I’ve said all along that it’s amazing just to witness their unique bond, and so hard to comprehend, so I love getting insights like this.
These two things you said impacted/terrified me the most: “Life was the biggest and most adventurous game with them by my side.” and “It was easy to justify such acts of mischief — if they were doing it, then it was OK for me to do it too.”
When describing our 4YO triplet boys to the general public, I simply say they’re like velociraptors, with their 9YO big brother as T-Rex–in their cunning, relentlessness, and organization when defending and mobilizing. It saves time, and stops non-multiple folks from pressing further, as they cannot not should they be forced to know the journey we walk. If I elaborate about my boys, I invariably get welled up or uncontrollably weepy–out of pride and joy for them and my wife, and in reliving the uncertainty of NICU, daily therapy, and continuing healthcare. I grew up with three other brothers, each 2 years apart, and we exceeded those same social boundaries, so I know how many of these chapters end. We will always give the triplets hypervigilance in our care and freedom of their own spirit. So your story speaks to us on many levels, but most importantly, to the enduring strength of family as we persevere above all else.
Thank you for sharing! I have (nearly) 5 year old triplet boys. I love your Navy SEAL reference. I often feel like we’re raising a gang or fraternity, of which we are not a member. I pray my boys retain the brotherhood bond and friendship that you have.
Jack, thanks so very much for sharing this! As a mom of 25 yr old triplets (plus one older and one younger) I often imagined what it must be like to walk in their shoes. I can without question say that I see much of what you experienced and feel in my gang. I am very fortunate to have found MOST (Mothers of Supertwins) all those years ago so that I would have the support that parents REALLY need raising our family. God bless your Mom! You guys sound like you must have been a handful
If ever you would want to share more of your experiences please get in touch with us!
I have 7 month old triplets, and I sometime think forward to what it would be like for them growing up together. I can only hope they share that bond, like no other, and are there for each other always….
I am amazed to see even now when we bring them together, they reach out for each other (and each others toys too already!)
Thank you for this,
Wendy
This is wonderful and so completely true for so many of us with multiples. I have 8 year old triplet boys and I often say that they are like fraternity brothers. They are empowered and emboldened by sheer number. All bad behavior is reinforced by at least one or more laughing brothers! My husband retreats to a video gaming den each night usually peacefully oblivious to the “real” nightly war I wage coercing three boys to brush their teeth and actually go to sleep before midnight! I think your mother is deserving of some time at a peaceful spa!